Just Friends

A very close friend of mine recently approached me with a problem. She met a guy at work and they clicked. He's funny, charming, and really easy to talk to. She thinks she has a small crush, but mostly she just likes his personality. The only problem is, she has a boyfriend.

She expected me to say, "Girl, you CAN'T talk to him. You have a man!" But my actual response was, "Hey, it's always cool to meet new people. No harm done."

Alot of people think that, to be in a relationship means to not have friends of the opposite sex. In my opinion, that's a very restricting way to live. I mean, I get the concern; you don't want your guy/girl to be buddy buddy with anyone other than you. But is that really fair? And more than that, is it healthy? I think sometimes we become so dependent on our significant others that we forget how to interact with members of the opposite sex--I know I did. I used to feel like having a male friend was a betrayal to my boyfriend and made it a point to keep only female company. As a result, I didn't get that male-friend-within-a-relationship experience, and it was easier for me to get swept away when a very charming guy came along.

I know it can be a thin line between having a girl/boyfriend and a girl/boy friend, but sometimes we can be so afraid of crossing that line that we don't even approach it. Don't get me wrong, I see the dilemma. I can't say that I didn't have a problem with my Ex, who was prone to having alot of female friends. But at the same time I knew I couldn't tell him not to talk to other girls. It's kind of unavoidable. I think that, as long as both parties set clear friend boundaries that are never to be crossed, having friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship is okay. Of course, it's still important to be observant of those little red flags. Like, if I started to hear the name of a NEW friend my girl/guy made a little too much or if late night chill sessions became a regular thing--then I'd be a little concerned.

So anyway, my friend, like a good girl, decided to tell her boyfriend about this guy. She told him they meshed well and he seemed like someone cool to get to know. Her boyfriend's response: "I don't want you to talk to him anymore."

.....

I won't even voice my opinion on that. Instead, I'll ask you. Do you think it's fair that he demands she doesn't talk to him?