Happy Birthday to Me.

I am admittedly a lame. My Big 2-0 is in about 6 hours, and I have absolutely no intentions on going out tonight. My friends can't stand how much of a homebody I am, but what can I say? I party hard about once or twice a season--Homecoming and Halloween were it for me. Plus, it's too frickin' cold outside!

A part of me thinks I should get out there and do something though. After all, this is a milestone birthday. I've reached the end of my teenage years; you only turn 20 once. And aside from that, I didn't get to celebrate hardcore about Obama winning the election and I know errrrrrbody is about to be out tonight. Especially since the Black Alumni Reunion is this weekend....Hmm, I think I just talked myself into party mode.

Enjoy your weekends! I might have pics for you on Monday.

xo,
Blog-No Longer A Teenager-gal

Sigh....

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

For some strange reason, alot of people have been coming to me for relationship advice lately. Or at least to vent their relationship woes. An old friend of mine just revealed to me that she just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years who had been abusing her; I've been counseling another friend who broke up with her boyfriend and had an abortion three weeks ago; Even my mom has been talking to me about a male friend of hers who fell in love for the first time at the age 40, and is now dealing with the breakup.

(Sidenote: Hearing about all of their problems and pains have made me realize how incredibly happy I am to be single right now. Sure, I get a little lonely sometimes, but it feels good to know that I'm the only person who can disappoint me. My school year has been virtually free of boy-related tears, which is something I haven't been able to say in a long time. But enough of my Single Girl Tangent lol).

With everyone going through their terrible break ups, I'm noticing a couple common factors.

1). Each person identifies their ex as his/her "first true love."

2). Each person has admitted that they feel clinically insane.

"I hate myself for letting him manipulate me...Why do I keep going back?" asked my friend who's boyfriend beat her.

"I miss him like crazy. He's such an asshole but I love him. Why do I still love him???" pleaded my friend who aborted her baby.

"You don't know what it feels like! My heart hurts! I feel like I'm going to die!!!!" cried the 40 Year Old (Love) Virgin, to my mom.

(I do feel a little bad for this guy. He's going through the painful breakup that most people experience between the ages of 16-20. He doesn't know what to do with himself, poor soul. He's been stalking his ex--going to her church, writing her friends and family letters, driving by her house at night, begging her to take him back etc. He's doing all the crazy post-breakup stuff most of us have done, but he's a grown ass man and it's quite pathetic. He even sent my mom naked pics because he was "lonely." Ugh, sad.)

What I've learned from my own experiences is that, pretty much everyone is reduced to a hot plate of crazy with some psycho on the side, when we break up with our first loves. Some of us take the high road and break up peacefully. We try to salvage a little pride and self respect. But we still break down and at the mention of his name, the tune of his favorite song, or a glimpse of his picture. As a result, we feel like schizophrenic maniacs.

And some of us refuse to accept the break up, and we fight to the bloody death. We try to to win their hearts but the reality is, the more we love them, the more we pursue them. And the more we pursue them, the less attractive and pathetic we become in their eyes. We end up throwing ourselves at someone who comes to find us completely repulsive. We end up losing our sanity because we just can't understand why someone we love to death won't love us back.

How ever it goes down, love makes us do crazy things.

When people remind me of my own psycho days, I am quite amazed at how far I've come. Because, when I say I was crazy, I mean I was CRAZY. I was stand outside his window/e-stalk his girlfriend/throw cell phones at doors/cry for hours/neglect homework/skip classes to sulk/write one million word emails/try to buy his love/beg him to take me back/lost the will to live kind of crazy. I guess that's why everybody has been confiding in me. Because they remember how much of depressed/psycho/suicidal stalker I was last year. Maybe they figure, if anyone would understand their pain, it would be me.

If someone had told me earlier this year that I'd be as happy, healthy and functional as I am today, I would've said "tell that to my bleeding heart." But incredibly, I have healed. And, aside from some residual resentment, I've made amends with my past. Heartbreak is a rite of passage. We all experience that one love that makes us question who we thought we were. We experience it and, hopefully, become stronger people from it.

I would even argue that a case of the crazies is perfectly normal in dealing with your first true love. Maybe some of us just have to lose our marbles before we can find ourselves.

Untitled

With all the Obama Mania going on, I know everybody is Barak-O-Blogging right now. Being that this blog isn't a political one, I'll return to my regular topics after today. But first, I just have to allow myself to bask in the afterglow for a little while.

Today really did feel like a New Day. Since when do we get 75 degree weather in early November in Illinois? Never. It felt like the universe was trying to show us that this really is the dawning of a new era. I felt an energy in the air--it was electric. At a university where black people make up less than 15% of the population, it's easy to be intimidated. To want to fade into the background. But not today. Today, I wanted to be noticed. I walked around with my head held high. I looked my counter parts square in the eyes. I looked at them differently and they looked at me differently. I'm so proud right now. Proud of our new President. Proud of the young voters. Proud of the white voters. Proud to be Black. Proud to be an American.

My president is Black....Wow, I'll never get tired of saying that lol.

Barack Obama: Mr. President

AHHHHH, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????

I just had the most amazing experience of my entire life. Peep this shit.

This was my campus after Obama was announced President! I can't even express how amazingly beautiful it was to be a part of something like that. Over 1,000 students came together tonight and celebrated like it was the New Year. So freaking amazing. Seeing us all together like that made was such a surreal moment. Hugging strangers, cheering maniacly, chanting "Obama" and "Yes We Can!"--I was boo-hooing all over the fucking place.

Ahhh, I have no words. I can't even type right now....and I won't try.

WE made it happen guys!!!!

I

Voted!

HalloWeiner Weekend

Okay, so this will be my first picture post ever. I'll let the photos do most of the talking, but before I post them, I'll give you all a little background.

This weekend was full of non-stop fun and fuckery. I had a fantabulous time, to say the least. I went to a black house party, and on a "clear" (lol Jaded) one. Had to balance it out, you know. Anyway, I feel the need to give a heads up on the clear party I went to, as it was a hot coonish mess, even more so than the black party. It was themed All Slutz Day. Sorry if that offends any hardcore Christians (All Saints Day). The idea was to come in your skimpiest attire. Bras, panties, boxers, fishnets--the cuntier, the better. (I thought I was skimpy enough but it turned out I was overdressed. You'll see in a minute). Just a way to make fun of and exaggerate the sluttery that is everpresent on Halloween. Think Mean Girls. The only thing I didn't know was that 80% of the guys there would be gay. A grand old fag fest. So please be forewarned that there may be a few penis shots and/or homo makeout sessions. I'll try my best to spare you, but I can't make any promises.

Sidenote: I was a tad bit tipsy. You'd have to be too, in order to participate in this type of fuckery. Please believe alot of these pictures (of me at least) will be be deleted within a 24 hour period. And um, also keep in mind that the camera adds 40lbs.

All Slutz Day The only non-flash pic of the night. Just try to imagine this lighting throughout the entire house.My gay crush (left) and my RA (center); I need new friends.

One of the many Jokers we ecountered that night.

My BDF (Best Dorm Friend) posin' with the 'mos.

The gayest shot of the night.

(I almost died when the played the remix version of "I Kissed a Girl"...Nastiness.)

There are actually about 30 more pics, but I don't want to have to put a content restriction on my blog. So use your imaginations if you're curious.

Okay, so I cheated. There were a few more pics of me participating in all sorts of shinnanigans (a few risque poses, and a some suggestive shots with the homos) but I'm too much of a punk to post them.

Halloween Party

As much as much as I enjoyed some clear people coonery (we'll spread that word like wildfire, Jaded lol), it was nice to participate in some black people coonery.

Me in my sexy witch costume...totally D.U.F.F.ing it up.

Lil Jon, MIA, and Lupe Fiasco

Dave Chapelle fans know--I love this one lol

Please note the the stretcher being taken into my dorm to save some poor drunken soul....hot ass mess.

Over all, I had a pretty awesome weekend.

p.s.

Picture posts are a bitch to format! Ugh.