Blog Break

Ugh, this is TOTALLY involuntary guys. I have a ton of things that I want to write about, but I'm swamped with work right now. Next Friday is when my Fall break starts, so of course all of my professors are piling on the homework before our vacation. Get this: I have SEVEN papers to write by next Friday. (I only have four classes, so don't even ask how ended up with almost twice as many papers lol). I'm trying not to freak out, but this shit seems pretty impossible. Still haven't figured it all out, but I know one thing is for sure. I can't do anything recreation for the next week. And that means no blogging unfortunately :(

Don't worry, I'll still be doing my blog rounds even if only on some stalker-type shit. But I just won't be able to write for a little while. Sucks too, cause I've had alot on my dome lately. Lame.

Well, this is goodbye for now guys. Look for a post from me by next Friday.

Take care 'til then!

xo,
bloggal

Keep Your Aura To Yourself

To the requests that I post pics of the new haircut, it may be a while. The only working camera I have is the one on my phone (the pics I posted from Halloween were ones I stole from friends' cameras). Anyway, my phone takes pretty really crappy pictures so I'll have to wait until I can get my hands on a quality camera.

It's official guys. Winter is here and we're probably not going to see the end of it until next June. I kid you not, non-midwesterners. Generally, we don't get four seasons a year. There's usually about six months of Winter with a few "nice" days at the tail-end (that's our supposed Spring), and then suddenly, it's Summer. We get a mixture of unseasonably hot and cold weather for about four months, and then BAM! It's Winter again. No, Fall segue. Just frigid, bitter Winter. I love Chicago, but I think I'm going to have to settle on the West Coast.

It's easy to get in a funk when it's cold outside. Winter depression is the absolute worst. With constantly cloudy skies and below freezing weather, you have to ask yourself on the daily, why you even get out of bed in the morning. I've been there before, and I'm going to try my hardest not to go back. When I find myself letting the weather get to me, I give myself an attitude check by saying positive affirmations. Something like, Today is going to be a great day! You've got your health, your family, a roof over your head, and food in your stomach. You're amazingly blessed. What are you sad for? It may sound kind of simple, but reminding myself of the positives does actually help oust my bad moods.

I guess I've been thinking alot about being positive because of all the negativity I've been dealing with lately. I've always believed that people have emotional auras and energy they put out in the universe, but I've never been as certain of it as I am now. Eversince I was really young, I've had the gift (or curse) of being able to identify with someone else's emotions to an elevated degree. So, since I'm always so aware of everyone else's negative energy, I try to make sure I put out nothing but positivity. Don't get me wrong, we all wake up on the wrong side of the bed sometimes. So everyone is entitled to a funk. But I'm just saying, if you're having a bad day, try to keep it to yourself so you won't bring somone else's down. When people are depressed, I feel it. When people are angry, I feel it. That's why, when I was dealing with my depression, I made sure to stay away from people since I knew my mood couldn't be disuaded.

I tried to do a little research on moods and auras, but didn't find much. It wasn't until I typed in "emotions are contagious" that I got a ton of results. According to this New York Times article, all it takes is a millisecond for someone else's mood to affect your own, or vice versa. So, if you've ever woken up extremely happy, but the second you made it to work/class your mood suddenly sank, it wasn't a case of feminine whim. You indeed contracted an ETD (Emotionally Transmitted Disease).

So, now that you know this phenomenon exists, protect yourself! When you leave the house, make sure you have enough pep in your step to counter any of the negative energy that you may encounter. This is a two way street though. If you know that you're in a really shitty mood, try to steer clear of crowds until you feel a little better. You wouldn't want to infect anyone else, now would you?

p.s.

Since we're on the topic of positive energy, this is what I decided on for my next tattoo:
It's called a Cho Ku Rei:

Cho – full
Ku – ceremonial vessel
Rei – transcended mystery, Holy Spirit or Universal Life Force

Its literal translation is: Put the power of the Universe here. The symboly is used to command and attract all of the positive energy in the Universe. I'm getting it on my inner left wrist. I think it'll complement the Ohm on my right one.

What do you guys think?

Thanks For The Birthday Wishes!

I ended up staying in and watching Kissing Jessica Stein (one of my all time favorite movies), and pigging out by myself. I woke up with chronic heartburn, but that's the small price for being a fatass. Tomorrow means back to exercising (or at least dieting). I passed out by 11:30pm last night, but was awaken at 12 by my darling sister singing "Happy Birthday" to me. I didn't go back to sleep until about 7am because of a birthday visit from an old friend. I gave myself a haircut this morning and I like how it turned out. Kind of doing the asymmetrical Rhianna thing. I get bored with my hair easily. Plus, I figured since it's my birthday, it's time for a change. I went to work at the museum at 2 and got stationed in my favorite gallery. The current exhibit is called Out of Sequence: Underrepresented Voices in American Comics. It's a really awesome showcase of comics created by America's minorities. Anyway, been bringing in droves of people. Today we had a open forum and I got to meet a few of the artists featured. And all the while I was at work, I got birthday texts and phone calls from the people who matter most to me.

It may sound kind of lame, but I actually did have a pretty splendid birthday.

p.s.

Just a heads up for the week. I've got two term papers due so I may not post as regularly as usual.

Happy Birthday to Me.

I am admittedly a lame. My Big 2-0 is in about 6 hours, and I have absolutely no intentions on going out tonight. My friends can't stand how much of a homebody I am, but what can I say? I party hard about once or twice a season--Homecoming and Halloween were it for me. Plus, it's too frickin' cold outside!

A part of me thinks I should get out there and do something though. After all, this is a milestone birthday. I've reached the end of my teenage years; you only turn 20 once. And aside from that, I didn't get to celebrate hardcore about Obama winning the election and I know errrrrrbody is about to be out tonight. Especially since the Black Alumni Reunion is this weekend....Hmm, I think I just talked myself into party mode.

Enjoy your weekends! I might have pics for you on Monday.

xo,
Blog-No Longer A Teenager-gal

Sigh....

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

For some strange reason, alot of people have been coming to me for relationship advice lately. Or at least to vent their relationship woes. An old friend of mine just revealed to me that she just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years who had been abusing her; I've been counseling another friend who broke up with her boyfriend and had an abortion three weeks ago; Even my mom has been talking to me about a male friend of hers who fell in love for the first time at the age 40, and is now dealing with the breakup.

(Sidenote: Hearing about all of their problems and pains have made me realize how incredibly happy I am to be single right now. Sure, I get a little lonely sometimes, but it feels good to know that I'm the only person who can disappoint me. My school year has been virtually free of boy-related tears, which is something I haven't been able to say in a long time. But enough of my Single Girl Tangent lol).

With everyone going through their terrible break ups, I'm noticing a couple common factors.

1). Each person identifies their ex as his/her "first true love."

2). Each person has admitted that they feel clinically insane.

"I hate myself for letting him manipulate me...Why do I keep going back?" asked my friend who's boyfriend beat her.

"I miss him like crazy. He's such an asshole but I love him. Why do I still love him???" pleaded my friend who aborted her baby.

"You don't know what it feels like! My heart hurts! I feel like I'm going to die!!!!" cried the 40 Year Old (Love) Virgin, to my mom.

(I do feel a little bad for this guy. He's going through the painful breakup that most people experience between the ages of 16-20. He doesn't know what to do with himself, poor soul. He's been stalking his ex--going to her church, writing her friends and family letters, driving by her house at night, begging her to take him back etc. He's doing all the crazy post-breakup stuff most of us have done, but he's a grown ass man and it's quite pathetic. He even sent my mom naked pics because he was "lonely." Ugh, sad.)

What I've learned from my own experiences is that, pretty much everyone is reduced to a hot plate of crazy with some psycho on the side, when we break up with our first loves. Some of us take the high road and break up peacefully. We try to salvage a little pride and self respect. But we still break down and at the mention of his name, the tune of his favorite song, or a glimpse of his picture. As a result, we feel like schizophrenic maniacs.

And some of us refuse to accept the break up, and we fight to the bloody death. We try to to win their hearts but the reality is, the more we love them, the more we pursue them. And the more we pursue them, the less attractive and pathetic we become in their eyes. We end up throwing ourselves at someone who comes to find us completely repulsive. We end up losing our sanity because we just can't understand why someone we love to death won't love us back.

How ever it goes down, love makes us do crazy things.

When people remind me of my own psycho days, I am quite amazed at how far I've come. Because, when I say I was crazy, I mean I was CRAZY. I was stand outside his window/e-stalk his girlfriend/throw cell phones at doors/cry for hours/neglect homework/skip classes to sulk/write one million word emails/try to buy his love/beg him to take me back/lost the will to live kind of crazy. I guess that's why everybody has been confiding in me. Because they remember how much of depressed/psycho/suicidal stalker I was last year. Maybe they figure, if anyone would understand their pain, it would be me.

If someone had told me earlier this year that I'd be as happy, healthy and functional as I am today, I would've said "tell that to my bleeding heart." But incredibly, I have healed. And, aside from some residual resentment, I've made amends with my past. Heartbreak is a rite of passage. We all experience that one love that makes us question who we thought we were. We experience it and, hopefully, become stronger people from it.

I would even argue that a case of the crazies is perfectly normal in dealing with your first true love. Maybe some of us just have to lose our marbles before we can find ourselves.

Untitled

With all the Obama Mania going on, I know everybody is Barak-O-Blogging right now. Being that this blog isn't a political one, I'll return to my regular topics after today. But first, I just have to allow myself to bask in the afterglow for a little while.

Today really did feel like a New Day. Since when do we get 75 degree weather in early November in Illinois? Never. It felt like the universe was trying to show us that this really is the dawning of a new era. I felt an energy in the air--it was electric. At a university where black people make up less than 15% of the population, it's easy to be intimidated. To want to fade into the background. But not today. Today, I wanted to be noticed. I walked around with my head held high. I looked my counter parts square in the eyes. I looked at them differently and they looked at me differently. I'm so proud right now. Proud of our new President. Proud of the young voters. Proud of the white voters. Proud to be Black. Proud to be an American.

My president is Black....Wow, I'll never get tired of saying that lol.