Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.

Just when I had lost all hope of change, JT rocked my belief system with the ultimate gesture.

His biggest problem has been cowardice. Because he didn't want to hurt her feelings by breaking up with her, he's stayed in a relationship he didn't want to be in, and cheated on her with me. I know, I know--I'm a homewrecker. But judge me later, listen to the story now...So anyway, his fear of hurting her feelings is what has kept him from telling her that he and I are still in love. That he prematurely entered a relationship with her and wants to give it a go with me again...God, why do men have to be such cowards? They don't want to look like the bad guy so they stay in relationships they don't want to be in and they cheat! The girl always finds out (because guys never get away with cheating) and ends up more hurt than she would've been if he was just real with her in the first place. Any woman would rather be alone than be used. Why don't they get that?

So anyway, this has been the situation with JT and I. He was waiting for the "right time" and the "right excuse" to do break up with her and I was getting VERY impatient. Why wasn't I enough of a reason? Why did he need an excuse? I asked him these questions and he could never give me a straight answer. Being fed up and believing that the truth was just that he really did care about her and actually wanted to be with her, I gave up. I decided to call it quits and walk away (see yesterday's entry). I told him that he and I would no longer be staying in touch and I think the prospect of that kind of got to him. He knew I wasn't kidding. And much to my surprise, I received this text from him last night:

"Hey. Just so you know, I'm going to have a LONG talk with her about you. I probably won't call you back tonight. I'm gonna be honest for the most part and I'm not sure how that will turn out. You and I still gotta talk which can be tomorrow or Fri. There are just some things I wanted to tell her before we talked.So... Yeah. I'll give you a call tomorrow."

Gasp! Could it be that he actually came clean to her about everything? Even though he says that he was going to ge honest "for the most part"--anything he'd tell her would be substancial...This may not seem like much of a development, but it you only knew how long I've been in this situation and how long I've been waiting for this to happen. This is very climactic in my sad little life.

Of course, I'm trying not to count the eggs before they hatch, though I have allowed myself to fantasize just a little...Right now, I'm just being patient. Assuming we'll talk tonight or tomorrow, I'll soon know the truth.