Thursday, May 29, 2008

Daddy Issues

Last night I had a date with MK. We made plans on Tuesday to get together on Wednesday, once he was off work. He didn't know exactly when he'd be getting off though, so he told me that he would call me when he did.

Me, being the frantic nerd that I am, showered, dressed, and did my hair before 5 o'clock and lonnnnggeee before the date would actually take place. I hadn't even received a call from him, before I was completely ready. He called around 5:30 to tell me that we were going to see a 8:30 showing of Indiana Jones. Even though Harrison Ford isn't my cup of tea, I decided to suffer through the flick and be picky on our next date. He said he'd call at 7:30, just to confirm things with me.

6:30 came...7:30 came...8:30 came...9:30 cam...Still no MC. And not even a phone call.

It would've been one thing, if this was the first time it happened. But only a week early, he called and canceled our date twenty minutes after he was supposed to be here...Maybe it all seems a bit petty, but I think I had a good reason to be upset/disappointed/pissed off when he didn't show up.

Ever since I could remember, whenever my father made plans with my sisters and I, he'd never come through. "I'll be there, I promise," is what he always said. But he never was. I remember being so excited to spend the day with my daddy, that I couldn't even sleep the night before. I'd be tossing and turning, counting sheep, doing whatever kids do when they can't sleep. Eventually I'd just give up, jump out the bed bright and early, and get dressed. My sisters and I, we'd all sit patiently, all dressed up, for our father to come. Or at least to call. Half the time he never showed up. And if he did, he was usually 8 to 10 hours late. It took me a while to catch on to the trend and realize that my father couldn't keep his word. I stopped waking up early, stopped expecting him to come, and stopped getting excited. It spared me the disappointment of getting my hopes up and having them shattered.

So, yes, I was a little angry last night. Though he did evenutally make his way over here, the damage was just the same. I felt like a child again; I felt like a fool for looking forward to this date so much, that I let my guard down enough to even be disappointed.


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