Honesty Vs. Trust

Today I was forwarded a personality survey. In one section it asked, What are two things you want in a relationship? The person before me filled in Love and Honesty.

This got me thinking. Of course honesty is important to a relationship. It's imperative. But after trial and error, I think what's most important, even before Honesty, is Trust.

Trust, in the traditional sense, is often thought of as you entrusting your emotional, physical, and mental well being on someone else. But to me, trust is so much more. It's not only about giving your heart away to someone and hoping that they'll treat it as their own; with tender love and care. It's about being trustworthy as well. It's about having integrity.

When entering a relationship, my motto used to be, "I don't care what you do, as long as you tell me the truth." It was a way to appeal to guys who had the tendency to cheat, lie, or make the occasional mistake. I wanted to show them that, as long as you tell me the truth, I'll forgive you. It's a nice idea in retrospect, but the truth is, we're adults not toddlers. When a three year old breaks mommy's favorite coffee mug, or accidentally spills paint on a white carpet, he tells the truth and should be forgiven. That's the grace you give a growing child into which, you're trying to instill values. Not a grown man who should already know right from wrong.

Yes, I want honesty. But what I want more is a man that I can trust not to hurt me. One who has the integrity to do right by me, even when I'm not around. One whom doesn't cause me anxiety whenever we're not together....Does he exist?

Same Old...

It's a rarity that I actually read my own blog. I don't know why, but it just seems a bit narcissistic. Weird, I know. But I just finished reading my post from February and March and, I have to admit, I'm a little embarrassed.

I'm the most tactless person I've ever known. Why can't I ever stick to anything? I'm like Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde. My life is a vicious cycle. I make a mistake, I "learn" from it, I make it again, I "learn" from it, I make it again, I "learn" from it...

Damn, what a sad story with no ending.

Why is it that we can't stand to see our Ex's happy with someone else? Okay, maybe that's a pretty obvious question, but I'm still curious why that is.

Let Your Love Show

If A Man Wants You

This is my new Bible. Something EVERY woman should read.

P.S.

It was written by a man.



If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending
Compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships
There is nothing cute about baggage
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals
Look for someone complimentary. ..not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are
and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.

Sex is the root of all EVIL!

No, I'm not preaching fire and brimstone. But my recent experiences have taught me something.

sex=confusion
sex=pain
sex=attachment
sex=possessiveness
sex=insanity

...in my case at least.

I've never been big on Horoscopes, but sometimes the descriptions are just too uncanny to dismiss. Take this analysis of the Scorpio (moi) for example:

Scorpio is the symbol of sex and Scorpios are passionate lovers, the most sensually energetic of all the signs. For them, union with the beloved is a sacrament, an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace. Their overriding urge in loving is to use their power to penetrate beyond themselves and to lose themselves sexually in their partners in an almost mystical ecstasy, thus discovering the meaning of that union which is greater than individuality, and is a marriage of the spirit as well as of flesh.

Scorpios are the most intense, profound, powerful characters in the zodiac. Even when they appear self-controlled and calm there is a seething intensity of emotional energy under the placid exterior. They are like the volcano not far under the surface of a calm sea, it may burst into eruption at any moment. They need great self-discipline, because they are able to recognize the qualities in themselves that make them different from other humans, and to know their utterly conventional natures can be used for great good, or great evil. Their tenacity and willpower are immense, their depth of character and passionate conviction overwhelming, yet they are deeply sensitive and easily moved by their emotions. Their sensitivity, together with a propensity for extreme likes and dislikes make them easily hurt, quick to detect insult or injury to themselves (often when none is intended) and easily aroused to ferocious anger.

All so true.

I know myself, and whenever sex enters the picture, so does that annoying little emotion called Love (among others). So, I am on strike. No sex for me. Not for a lonnnnnnnnnge time.