Monday, April 28, 2008

Honesty Vs. Trust

Today I was forwarded a personality survey. In one section it asked, What are two things you want in a relationship? The person before me filled in Love and Honesty.

This got me thinking. Of course honesty is important to a relationship. It's imperative. But after trial and error, I think what's most important, even before Honesty, is Trust.

Trust, in the traditional sense, is often thought of as you entrusting your emotional, physical, and mental well being on someone else. But to me, trust is so much more. It's not only about giving your heart away to someone and hoping that they'll treat it as their own; with tender love and care. It's about being trustworthy as well. It's about having integrity.

When entering a relationship, my motto used to be, "I don't care what you do, as long as you tell me the truth." It was a way to appeal to guys who had the tendency to cheat, lie, or make the occasional mistake. I wanted to show them that, as long as you tell me the truth, I'll forgive you. It's a nice idea in retrospect, but the truth is, we're adults not toddlers. When a three year old breaks mommy's favorite coffee mug, or accidentally spills paint on a white carpet, he tells the truth and should be forgiven. That's the grace you give a growing child into which, you're trying to instill values. Not a grown man who should already know right from wrong.

Yes, I want honesty. But what I want more is a man that I can trust not to hurt me. One who has the integrity to do right by me, even when I'm not around. One whom doesn't cause me anxiety whenever we're not together....Does he exist?

1 comments:

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

very well said nice blog sister, do stop by and check me out one day if u can.

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