Monday, June 22, 2009


Hey lovely people! How were your weekends?

You guys wouldn't believe how drama-filled my life has been since returning home. LOTS-O-DRAMA. But I'm very happy to say that I survived my first week back. Of course it's easy to be on Cloud Nine when you're in peace and solitude. But the real test began when I was forced into stressful sitcheeations. And your girl has definitely learned to handle them with poise and grace ::slowly bows::.

A popular comment I've been getting from the fellas that I knew prior to the camp is that I seem "different". I've also been called a lame, a prude, and an asshole. I won't deny that my perspective on life has changed a lot. But am I different? I'd have to say no. Personality wise, I'm definitely the same person. It's just that I found a lot of strength within that I never knew I had. Realized how capable I am. How worthy I am. And I realized that people come and go, but you have to live with yourself forever. So, do what makes you happy. Do what makes you proud. And if people don't like it, oh wellsies. You can't please everybody.

I know I'm being cryptic here, but it's for a reason. I'm not sure yet whether or not I'm speaking from personal experience. There have certainly been people who don't like the changes that I've made in my life. They're having a hard time getting used to how things are now, but I'm giving them time. We'll see if they can accept me how I am. I'll give you guys more insight a little later, depending on how things pan out. In the meantime, we shall wait....

Annnnywhoozers, I have to say that I've been feeling really good lately. I've continued meditating everyday for at least one hour--the two hour thing proved to be a little too demanding--and it really helps keep me centered. I might not be on my way to becoming a Buddha, but I definitely can see progress, and that's good enough for me. As I told you guys last week, I'm trying vegetarianism on for size and so far, it's a lifestyle that I can definitely keep up with. Prior to going to the camp, I was already considering it because meat has not been my friend lately. So, it served as a perfect segue to get me used to not eating it. Ever since I stopped, I've definitely felt healthier, lighter, less tired, and not nauseated. Seems like something I definitely can stick with because I'm not missing meat at all.

Along with going veggie, while I was at the camp, I also went natural. Y'all know what I mean. I'm sporting my naPPtural hair now. I stopped getting perms around October 2007, because I completely damaged my hair when I got a relaxer and highlights less than a month apart. When I stopped with the perms, I started wearing weaves and never wore my natural hair out. I planned on it eventually, but my hair was so unhealthy that I wasn't ready to deal with it yet. So for the past year or so, I've been wearing braids and sew-ins. It originally started as a way to grow my perm out but I realized how much I loved the versatility of i, so I kept wearing sew-ins--some long, some short--to change up my look every once and a while.

Well, while I was at the camp, my latest short 'do started driving me crazy. The day they told us not to react to physical sensations was the day my head decided to start itching like mad. Before long, I cut the weave out, unbraided my hair, and wore it natural for the rest of the time. When I got home, I deep conditioned and moisturized. Now I'm quickly starting to realized how healthy my hair is, and how much I really love my natural texture. I got my first kiddie relaxer when I was six and had them up until the age of 17. That's when I started wearing weaves. So, for the first time, in my life really, I'm wearing my natural hair out.

I might rock this protective style, and others like it, for a little while before I start experimenting with more creative ones. This might prove to be a difficult task for me because I love switching up my look every month or so, but I'm going to tough it out. Mostly because I like how healthy and strong it is right now, and I'm afraid of putting too much strain on it. My hair has grown more than I had realized (a little past my back now when stretched) and it's very thick and full. By Fall, when I have a little more length and a concrete regimen, I'll start thinking outside the box. I can tell that my options are going to be pretty endless when it comes to styling. Been hitting up Fotki pages and I'm getting tons of inspiration. If any of you ladies out there have a Fotki page, can you share a little insight on how to set up and get things started?

And while we're talking about makeovers, I'm thinking this blog needs one. I've had this color scheme and header for about a year now and it's time for something new. Any ideas? I'm open to anything. Also, if there's anyone out there who's good at making banners and doesn't charge out the a$$, please leave a comment or email me:


antithesis said...

yes @ natural hair! i quit and got a mild relaxer. i loved the versatility of my natural hair but it was just too hot and i found myself straightening all the time anyway.

karrie b. said...

you seem so much more positive, and lighter. i was ready to rummage through old posts to cuss any and every cockmunch who had anything @ all negative to say to you, but that aint it. you're happy, i'm happy.


Gem convinced me to go natural too. as soon as this weave expires im gonna let my mane be great. ive also given up red meat :-)

Bloggal said...

@ antithesis: lol i feel you. that's why i'm not going to try to be that creative (yet). i'll save all that for the fall/winter.

@ kb: i'm so glad you noticed a difference. i certainly feel happier but i didn't know other people could actually SEE it :).

so great to hear about you going natural and not eating read meat! it's something about it that makes you feel healthier and more in touch with yourself. can't wait to see pics, chica.

Maggie said...

I'm a lurker, but had to comment, your hair is gorgeous in that style it really accents your inner and outter beauty!!

As far as people in your life the statement about having to live with yourself forever is on point. Sad to say but at 28, I'm just realizing that I have to stop letting those around me define me.

Mr. Heartbreak said...

I happen to like the new "protective" and "natural" style. It really looks good.

As far as just living life, I understand what you mean, to a point, considering I'm young, but when all else fails, I do understand that the people around me don't make me, well, me.

All-in-all, I wish you well in your new endeavors and it makes me feel good (can't really explain why) to see someone taking steps to becoming one with themselves and their life.

-Mr. Heartbreak

unequivocal difference said...

I see you rocks rough and stuff with your afro puff... *I hate myself already for typing that:( lol*

WOOHOO to the natural hair! I went natural a while ago and finally cut off my relaxed ends...It really is so freeing!

It's a shame that people have been having such extreme reactions to you trying to redefine your being/life. Hopefully they'll come around soon.

1/3 said...

I'm so happy for you! Im so glad you were able to jump over all these hurdles and come out positive in the end.

your hair looks beautiful and your skin is glowing girl so keep it up! :-)

Anonymous said...

AWW MANNNN!! your hair is super wild and bangalicious and shit and this: I realized that people come and go, but you have to live with yourself forever. So, do what makes you happy. Do what makes you proud. And if people don't like it, oh wellsies. You can't please everybody.

^^^ is exactly how you should live your life for the reminder of your time on earth!

YoungBlackBeauty said...

I love the natural hair on you! Its gorgeous!

Anonymous said...

I haven't had much time to comment (or fully read about your Vipassana days) but I scrolled through today and saw your pics.

You're so hawt bitch.

Natural hair suits you like its nobody's business. You look and and "feel" great... I just know it.

♥ you long time and miss ya much.

Miss Moody said...

Love ur hair

strangetimes said...

Fantastic!!! Love the natural look, it's killer on you.

Anonymous said...

Girl, I can FEEL your peace of mind radiating through this blog post and I'm so happy for you. And so proud of the strength and balance you've found in your life. I told you that you were much farther along than you thought. It took me until 25 to learn what you're learning right now.

*Kisses and hugs to you girly. Mama's proud!!!! Lol.

Bloggal said...

@ maggie: thank you sooo much! i hope from now on, you'll continue to come out of your lurk!

and yes, it is a difficult lesson to learn, and it's one that can easily be forgotten. but getting there is all that matters, right?:)

@ mr. heartbreak: awww shucks ::blushes:: lol. but thank you!

"All-in-all, I wish you well in your new endeavors and it makes me feel good (can't really explain why) to see someone taking steps to becoming one with themselves and their life."

thank you so much. i'm so glad to hear that you're getting something out of my experiences. that means a lot.

@ unequivocal: LMAO! imma have to use that one day.

ehh...trying to pay no mind to people who aren't supportive of my life changes. i'm slowly getting there.

@ 1/3: thank you, honey:)

@ qq: yessss! i'm so glad mama q approves! :-D

@ young black beauty: thanks baby!

@ glo: you know you'll forever be my biotch, right? seriously, i'll fux with you til blogworld is no more.

♥ YOU long time.

@ miss moody and strangtimes: thank you!

@ robin: AWWWWW! thank you! ::gives loonnng bear hug::
love you, mama!

Gem said...

Syd! I was speechless (typeless?) after the last picture. You are stunning. Seriously, that is a gorgeous picture.

I love the change I am sensing in you. I'm making my way through your Vipassana posts.

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