Friday, March 27, 2009

Why I Hate Facebook

Yall know how I have a hate/hate relationship with Facebook, right? Well, yesterday my disdain for this little social networking tool reached an all time high.

Let me start from the beginning. My mother is on Facebook. The handful of you who have their parents as friends know this is a true tragedy. You gotta keep things clean and wholesome. No drinking, cussing, sex talking. Not like my page would be raunchy anyway, cause I do prefer to keep my e-nasty reserved for the blog or twitter. BUT, you wanna have the option to say "fuuuuuck" in your status every once and a while.

Anyway, my best friend who I've mentioned several times here, is also friends with my mother on Facebook. Unlike me though, she lacks the filter that keeps her from saying ignorant/nasty shit on Facebook. Her latest example of this was a status that said: "If you can't have loud sex in your own house, where the fuck can you have it?"

That is actually a damn good question. But she even mentioned to me that she thought of my mom and our 8th grade teacher, who she's also friends with, when she set it. Out of respect for her elders, she shouldn't have published it. Or, she should have put them both on limited profiles, cause that's what I did for a while with my mom until she noticed.

Eventually, my mom did catch sight of her status and the convo went a little something like this:

honey, the world treat's you the way you demand to be treated. be a lady.

i've accepted my fate ms. s. well, if you're going to do what you're going to do, don't let me stop you.

um, it was kinda supposed to be a joke.

well, if you're a joke--i'm mean IT'S a joke--than let me be the first to laugh at you. HAHAHAHAHA.

ohhh hardball...i know you don't care, but you're getting the limited profile...

no problem.

um, maybe you don't know the age limits of Facebook, but it's for OUR age group. maybe you're better off somewhere in an old folk's home where all the do is play bingo instead of being in my business. in any case, thank you for your advice though wasn't asked for nor considered.

Ugh bitch. FAIL.

I didn't see this convo unfold. My mom was updating me on their conversation as it progressed. I was annoyed by the entire situation as it was. My mom being on Facebook preaching to my friends about being a lady...But I feel like she was right to do so. She's a parent and that was the virtual equivalent telling my friend not to wear a hoochie ass skirt in public. Where things took a turn and the tone changed was when she called my friend a joke. Don't know why, but I was appalled when she told me that. Wasn't preachy anymore. Just kinda mean. Still in no way, shape, or form, justifies my friend's response. Oh, but don't think she got away with it.

While I'm on the phone with her and she is pleading and apologizing for what she wrote on my mom's wall, which at this point I hadn't seen, I hear these thunderous footsteps coming down the stairs. My mom bursts into my bedroom, snatches the phone, and goes to town on the bff. She called her everything from a hoe, slut, bitch, motherfucker, tramp, cunt, etc. It was brutal. And when she was done, she chucked my lil already handicapped phone to the floor. She picks it up, calls her back, and says: "Stay the fuck away from my daughter. I don't want her to end up like you!!!" Slams the phone closed and takes it. Remember when I made that post about eternally feeling like a child? This is why.

So, now my mom is pissed at me for still talking to my friend. She expects me to disown my friend of 12 years (and I'm only 20) because of what happened. I did put her in her place and defend my mother, but I'm not going to be an asshole to her nor am I going to hold a grudge. For one thing, that's just not my character or my way. I'm a very rational thinker when it comes to conflict. If something is thoroughly discussed, and someone sincerely apologizes for their actions, who am I to not accept. What my mom wants from me is to give her the cold shoulder for a while and since I'm not, I'm being accused of being disloyal and a traitor.

It would be a hell of a lot easier to be a grudgy bitch if I didn't feel my mother was more than a little inappropriate too. She has NEVER like my bff. Never. So, when things segued from nurturing to nasty, I was officially disappointed in the way she handled it. For one, I know my friend and she has an insanely dry sense of humor. Her comebacks were all supposed to be jokes. But when my mom came back with the "YOU'RE a joke" comment, it was just kinda like damn. And then after that, my mom calls her every nasty name in the alphabet...It was just a little too much on her end to make me feel like, poor her.

I'm on nobody's side here. They were both wrong and wildly inappropriate in my opinion. But I know some would disagree. When it comes to mommas, I know we're supposed to be alll O Hellllllll Naw. But what about when you don't agree with you're mother's actions? Is it okay to be on no side, or is that interpreted as being a traitor?

My mom seems to think so....But I know one thing is for sure. I need another Facebook break. The drama is killing me. I already get annoyed when I see it in my News Feed. But to be in the middle of this shit? It's gonna give me an aneurysm. I might just mass delete a bunch a folks cause to my surprise, people are discouraging me from deactivating it. I just get tired of drama in my life. Ugh. I fucking hate it.


Anonymous said...

UGHHH Big BIG BIG fail from both of them, as it is though I HATE having my preachy sister and brother and boss in my facebook (which I already feel like closing ) for it is LAME the stuff my sister calls to discuss off of OTHER people's profiles, UGH

But also in this situation, and as ridiculous as it was for your mom to stoop to this level (brawling with a dumb younging)I actually do NOT side with your girl on this... is call having some sense

I also even understand how your mom would have been grossed out and appalled by the insolence and NOT wishing for her baby to turn out that way

J said...

WOW...I am crying right now. That was beyond reasoning. I feel you on Facebook. I had a boss actually come up to me and whine cause she couldn't add me as a friend. First, I don't want you to know my business. Second, you are my boss not my friend or family. Third, that is why I put it on private or have it contact me when folks want to be my friend. I had the right to try anyone away. Even folks who I made friends with, one altercation off or are off my friends list or have stuff sanction. I believe you have the right to sy what you want on-line. I do hope that you can put restriction on your page as well as on your friends as well. Love your blog!!

1/3 said...

wow...this is like a really sticky situation cause both of them were wrong by fighting like that and on facebook of all places smh.

Only advice i can offer is to tell your mom to give you a lil space. she cant pick your friends and she cant control who you want to talk too. Thats all apart of being an adult. I understand her concern though.

I feel bad that you going through drama and i know how sucky that can be:-(. I hope you can get away from the drama a lil this weekend.

Miss Moody said...

I strongly believe that people should be able to say whatever they want on their status. My mom is on facebook too, but I don't tone down anything. It's mine. I'm grown and if my mom doesn't like it, she can delete me. lol, but seriously.

Soooo, I guess I'm siding with the friend... Sry Ms. Bloggal's Mom.

Experience is the best teacher. said...

I think they both were wrong; your mom for commenting on your best friend's life at all... (It's not HER daughter) and your best friend for going tit-for-tat with your mom. If my friend's mom ever came at me like that, I'd say something along the lines of "Okay, Ms. _____ Thanks for the advice". And I'd keep it moving, whether this meant changing my status or leaving it alone. Then I'd limit my friend's mom's profile and live my life! I think the younger generation has a serious problem with RESPECT. Though it was not your mom's place to come at her like that, she should have always recognized that your mom is an elder, worthy of respect. Sometimes as young adults we have to diffuse the drama with elders simply by being more mature than they are. It sucks, but that's the way I've been dealing with my relationship with my ma for years.

Don't let it get to you!

unequivocal difference said...

*sad face*

This is an unfortunate situation.

It surprising that no one cared as to how this would be awkward for you before they decided to get into it.

And this is why facebook is straight from Hades.

G-Ron Webb said...

weird...but in the end, fuck facebook.

Video Vix[o]n said...

oh the never-ending clusterfuck reality show named facebook.

i definitely don't condone my parents being on facebook.

facebook would break people and relationships. sad enough.

hope that whole situation blows over.

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