Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Dealbreaker

It may have been pretty obvious from my previous post, but just recently I had an unfortunate dating experience. It had a promising start. The Guy came over to my building for a movienight. I was very much looking forward to it considering I had a long day at work, and all I wanted to do was unwind, relax, and cuddle perhaps. Anyway, long story short: we popped in the movie, snuggled into bed, and before we could get past the previews, BAM! His breath hit me like a ton of bricks.

Let me try to paint a picture for you guys. Imagine a rat crawling into someone's mouth, dying, rotting for a few days, laying eggs, and then those eggs rotting too. I am well aware of the fact that deceased mammals cannot lay eggs but I'm trying to make a point here. Dude's breath was rancid.

I purposely left the degree to which his breath reeked, out of my question because I wanted to see just how tolerant people could be. Most of you said that you'd be willing to date a person with an unpleasant odor, just as long as it wasn't constant and/or distracting. Well lovelies, this was both constant and distracting. I desperately wanted to get closer to him (because it's been quite a while since I've been cuddled and/or molested) but I just...couldn't. Everytime he exhaled, I gagged. Seriously. It was THAT bad.

The unfortunate part is that I've known this guy for two years now. We've chilled on the friendly tip a few times in the past. On both occasions, I noticed his breath was on ten. But I let it slide for two reasons: 1) I wasn't really romantically interested in him at the time and 2) everyone is entitled to a few bad days of stanky breath. But after hanging with him this past time, I realized that his bad breath isn't a 'sometimes' sort of thing. It's a Halitosis sort of thing.

There are a lot of things I'm willing to put up with in a guy because I realize nobody's perfect. But my non-negotiable Have to Have quality is good hygiene. Yes, it sucks for the guys who have b.o. conditions that they can't help, but it's something I just can't skimp on. I truly cannot be attracted to you if your stink is constantly assaulting my nose. That's just my #1 Dealbreaker.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has certain expectations when it comes to dating. Things that you you just can't let pass. I told you mine, so tell me yours.

What's your dating dealbreaker?

10 comments:

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

Omg I had to stop reading this like 3 times just to laugh get myself together then come back and do it all over again! lol bad BO is def a turn off for me :(

Qucifer said...

Breath being on TEN has made me DIE!


Like I'm shaking I'm laughing so goddamned hard bro!


BWWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA


Let me see dickery, douchebaggery bad breath, bad lays, dumbasses with no conversation, Oh Short Dudes, extreme shyness, bad kissing, hate of pets


That is a close approximation

Mr. Heartbreak said...

The dating dealbreaker for me would have to be a female who is just down right ghetto. I'm talking straight hood. Ass crack hanging out the back of her jeans. Being able to see her entire state of "cleveland" and just loud, rude, and ignorant beyond belief. I can't deal with that. AND I have an anger problem? I've cussed and fussed out more females than I can count. It's not something I am particularly proud of but hey, I like what I like. In the words of Martin Lawrence, "I like my women classy! Not showing all they ass-y" lol (^_^).

Another dealbreaker is someone who, for lack of better words, can't keep up with me mentally. To me intelligence plays a big part. I don't want to ask a girl what 8+11 is and she says 2. DAMN THAT!!!

And hygiene is another one. Eww. If a female is stank, I aint dealing with em'. That's just me though.

Sorry if I sound picky but here in Baltimore, a lot of chicks are all the same. My obsession has always been with finding the female that's different.

I hope homie's breath gets a little better. I mean that.

Peace and much love to ya!

-Mr. Heartbreak

Dope Fiend said...

LOOOOOL! wow! how unattractive.

I cant do stank breath...stank...small dickery...girly hands....small feet...stpuidity...slobbery kisses...and clingy dudes....and the wearing of a complete white outfit. ewww!

YoungBlackBeauty said...

HAHA...breathe on TEN.

I agree, stankness is a no go for me. I've prolly dealt with all of the above for a short period of time ( a week maybe) slobbery kisses, no personality, small penis, soft hands, and short guys but a stank breath 24/& is not tolerable.

strangetimes said...

Deal Breaker for me would be a bad attitude. And that covers just about anything and everything - rudeness, hostility, intolerance, bigotry, judgemental, and so on and so on.

LOL - Sorry to hear about your date Sydney. I feel the need to warn you - everything comes in threes (Subway dude, Bad Breath dude) so be very careful with the next guy that you come across.

unequivocal difference said...

Ohhh :(

How can a person not be aware that their breath is that bad? I never really understood that. Stink upon stink? That has to your own nose once in a while.

After my last relationship I realized that my deal breaker is a needy young man. Can't do it...ever.

Obviously, funk this bad would be a deal breaker. For the most part I'm pretty flexible.

Video Vix[o]n said...

yeah... graphic description with that bad breathe, but it's sad.

my datebreaker is honestly attitude, or at least unnecessary. one stank look and it's pretty much done, as far as i'm concerned.

K. Michel said...

If a woman is a bit too skinny, I can't see myself dating her. It might seem superficial... but that's probably because it is.

Erin Michell said...

Insecurity and stalking tendencies..once I went on a blind date. The guy was talking marriage and kids one the first date (the only date), and how I was so busy he didn't feel I cared!!!! It was just the first date!!!!!! The next morning he text me good morning with Mrs. His Last name... I was too through.

Related Posts with Thumbnails