Bloggal had a full-blown breakdown last night.
I've always prided myself on being the type of person who doesn't let stress get to me. I'm usually the one comforting my friends who have stress induced panic attacks and freak-outs. But last night I had an extreme case of writers block. It was 1 in the morning and I hadn't even started writing a paper that was due at 12 noon. I freaked the hell out. I sat there staring at a blank screen for hours and nothing would come. Nothing at all. So I cried like a big ass baby. And I couldn't stop crying for the life of me. All of the things I was suppressing caught up with me and I had to let it out. Truth is, your girl's been pretty stressed for the past three months. I do school work Mon-Fri and then I work work, Saturday and Sunday. And then it starts over again. I never get a break. I haven't been able to sleep more than five hours in God knows how long. Though I've been killing myself, I've been trying to keep a positive and upbeat attitude. But the truth is, I'm beat.
It's funny too, I just wrote about how I haven't cried in a long time. I haven't really had a reason to. No boys to disappoint me, no terribly worrisome situations. Just the normal everyday stressors. But I guess School was like: "Hey bitch, I heard you were single....and happy? Well, I can fix that."
I cried for hours and hours like a little punk because I was tired, sleepy, stressed, worried, lonely...Of course, I didn't realize I was as holding all of that shit in. When I talked to my sister, I was like:
"I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel perfectly fine. I haven't cried in months."
To that she said: "That's why you're crying. You were all backed up."
I think she's right. They had to come out sometime. Now that I got it out of my system, I do feel a little better. I guess you could say my waterworks were comparable to a man's wet dream. If you don't get one off every now and then, they'll come when you least expect them to...except tears are alot easier to clean up.