Sunday, November 23, 2008

I Believe(d) In A Thing Called Love...

Yes, I know that just about all my post titles have been song titles recently. Sue me. I've been loving my music lately.

Soooo, yes kiddies. I survived Hell Week! I turned in my last essay at 3:30pm on Friday, and my mom was at my dorm to drive me home by 4. I am feeling so much better guys, I can't even tell ya. I was stressed beyond belief and it had me freaking out for real. Now, I have a week to unwind and replenish because once I go back, it starts all over again lol.
I would've posted Friday night, but I figured I'd wait until Monday and bask in the newness of my vaca. Besides, I was a little preoccupied when I got home that night. My little sister had been talking my ear off all week about wanting to see Twilight when it came out. I promised I'd see it with her so that was the first call of duty when I reached home.

For those who live under a rock and don't know what the movie is about, here's a little synopsis courtesy of IMDB, most likely written by a 14 year old fan (cause I'm too brain dead to write it myself right now).

The movie was mediocre. It didn't suck, but it didn't blow me away either. I've read the first book of the Twilight series way before there was even a sequel, and there were tons of things that didn't make the film. That's usually the case though. The acting was actually pretty good, and yet the movie was extremely dramatic; I still haven't figured that one out. It was full of cheesy one liners, it was sappy, long winded, and oh so cliche...All that said, I absolutely loved it.

I found myself doing alot of scoffing and eye rolling at the beginning of the movie. I frequently leaned over to my mom, who decided to tag along for the ride, to whisper "Ugh, this is so ridiculous. She JUST met the guy and she's talkin about 'I can't live without you'. Could this be any cheesier?" But then occasionally, I'd look over at my little sister--13 years old. Young. Niave. Unjaded. Her eyes were glowing as she watched the illogical romance unfold on screen. I decided to shelve my cynicism for an hour, and watch it from the perspective of someone who had never been burned. Someone who had never even been in love. It was only then that I could really appreciate it. By the end of the movie, I felt a bit lighter. While my mom was whining about spending $20 on "that mess" I was actually glad that I forked out the cash for it.

It made me kind of miss the days of young, passionate love. The kind of love that changes you. That you feel in every fiber of your being. That love that is so devestatingly beautiful. The love that is agony and ecstacy. The love that is bitter sweet. The love that makes you feel as if you'd die without that person.

I don't want to "fall" in love again. Because when I fell in love, I fell hard. And I shattered into a million little pieces. But what I do want is to feel passionate about someone again. I want to look forward to hearing his voice. I want to be giddy and anxious when I know he's visiting. I don't want to settle. I want chemistry and sparks and butterflies. But I know I'll never have those feelings again. You only experience that kind of love once in a lifetime.

I used to be such a hopeless romantic. I know every girl says that, but I really was. I lived for love stories. For love itself. I believed that it could truly conquer anything. But now I'm not so sure I believe anymore because in my case, love didn't conquer all. It didn't conquer anything. I hadn't realized how disenchanted I had become with love. I guess I just don't feed into the "you're all that I live for" love anymore. Does that make me cynical, or a realist? I'm not sure. What I do know is, watching that movie (re)awakened a desire for unfettered Love in me (see, you're not alone kb ;-).

I'm kind of on the fence whether I believe in love or not. I mean, I want to believe. But I'm not so sure if I do. Maybe all it takes is the right person to come along and remind me that it's out there. And it's real.
If you're a sucker for cheesy love stories, go see this movie. You won't regret it.


Kofi Bofah said...

Sorry that you said you got 'shattered in a million little pieces.'

And if you feel overwhelmed - just focus on doing one thing at a time.

I know that I can only concentrate on one activity at any moment.

Deutlich said...

oh goodness, I will NEVER foget how stressful college was. I'm glad you made it through hell week!

as far as the heart? man.. that organ can suck butt.

Anonymous said...

yeah, love, the romantic kind that we get indoctrinated to want but guys get indoctrinated to be dicks about.... sucks BALLLLLSSSSS, that said many a reviewer/fans even of the twighlight serie did say that excepting the kiss and the fact that there were oh-so-many pretty people it was all kinds of groan-inducing and stuff

glad school let out for a bit!

karrie b. said...

you're a really awesome writer, i keep forgetting to tell u that...

anywhoo, i'm GOING to see that movie. my lil sis is 14, and she read the book, and loved the movie.

im a dork, and i love sci-fi shit, so im going to see it...

anywhoo, glad u got ur tests and school shit out the way cause i know u were stressing. school can be a real drag. as for love, i cant say anything i havent said before.

andddd i realized, that just because i loved someone, doesnt make them the one. disheartening? a little. but then i know that whomever "the one" is, will reserve a much stronger love than the person before, or something like that. make sense? well, it does in my head.

love ya.


Anonymous said...

Can't give up on love, girly!

As I've said on numerous occasions, I got my world rocked by something that I thought was "love." Didn't realize it wasn't real until I grew up to understand what love was all about. Cynicism drove me crazy (literally) and it took a breakdown for me to finally be out with it and say that I really just wanted to feel loved and safe. That's normal, sweety. Not weak.

That said, you've gotta get yourself there first. And it starts with the belief that your greatest love is still somewhere in front of you, not locked up in your past. It'll take some time, but you'll be a believer again. Trust me.

Nina said...

I don't think that type of love happens once in a lifetime. i think once you're ready to let go of the hurt that is in you heart, you will find that you can have that again.

Trust me, letting go is no small thing. I thought I let go of stuff a while ago..but I did not.

If you read my blog, Afroman broke me. Aussie is rebuilding again or I hope he is. At first, I closed myself off and didn't want to believe someone like him could be out there. Someone honest. But, it is real.

I'm cosigning with gotta believe.

1/3 said...

congrats on making it thru hell week! at least you get a vaca to take ur mind off it all!

I agree with the comments. dont give up on love. believe ive been there...ur heart is alot stronger then you think. when the right one comes along all that pain you experienced in your past will prepare you for that person. But im also a hopeless romantic:-)

clnmike said...

Congrats with school, and I think I will skip this movie.

Bloggal said...

@ kofi: yeah, it was a bad break up, but they usually are so...:-/

@ deutlich: lol yes, college is hellish and the heart does suck butt indeed.

@ qq: yep, that's the way it is. the douchebags ruin the newness and novelty of love. it sucks but it's a rite of passage, i think.

twilight was definitely a cheesey cornball fest. but i still dug it.

@ kb: awww, thanks hunny! i appreciate the compliment coming from you:)

yes, DO see twilight. i know you'll love it as much as i did.

"but then i know that whomever "the one" is, will reserve a much stronger love than the person before, or something like that. make sense?"

yes, this makes alot of sense. jaded told me something similar to this once cause i refered to ex as my "great love." she said that just because he changed me doesn't me that he was my one. and i agree with that.

@ skinny: "And it starts with the belief that your greatest love is still somewhere in front of you, not locked up in your past. It'll take some time, but you'll be a believer again. Trust me."

i do trust you girl. you are ALWAYS laying some insightful shit on my blog. thanks so much for that!

@ nina: will very soon be heading to your blog and checking the archives on afroman and aussie. i know every girl has her mr. big.

@ 1/3: "when the right one comes along all that pain you experienced in your past will prepare you for that person."

wow, i really like that! thanks sweety:)

@ mike: thanks buddy! i definitely needed the break. and you KNOW you wanna see that movie. quit playin.

Brothers Blog said...

I got talked into seeing that movie with absoultely no prior knowledge of what it was about. Just as a movie lover I didn't care for this movie at all. Maybe with knowledge of the book I could have appreciated it more, but did not.

Congrats on surviving hell week.

strangetimes said...

All hopeless romantics, please raise your hand (raises his hand high into the air). That will never change on my end, mostly because I am realist when it comes to most other things. You have to have something to believe in. Mine is the redemptive and transformative power of love.

Sidestreet Annecdote:

I'm on the afternoon train to Toronto to attend my one class of the day. Sitting on the train, my attention is drawn to a couple sitting a few rows ahead of me. I'm guessing they are around my age, maybe a little younger.

They are having a dispute about something or other; I don't want to spy on them or anything, so I'm not trying to pay too much attention. Eventually, the girl gets up in a huff and sits down on the seats directly across from the dude on my side of the train. "Fine".

(Smiles) She then proceeds to pull out a twilight book and makes a remark about how Edward would never be so insensitive. He says, "Oh c'mon, not this again!" She proceeds to pretend to ignore him and read the book. He proceeds to pretend like he doesn't care.

Eventually, she sits back down beside him and they make up. LOL - Young love.

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