Married Men, Fat White Chicks, and Cheaters...Oh My!

It's official. I'm no longer playing for team Hetero.

Why make such a drastic decision, you may wonder. Oh, just the fact that I seem to be a jerk magnet, and every relationship I hear about nowadays begins with the words "he cheated."

Married Man

My BFF, the one who had the boyfriend who wouldn't allow her to have male friends, told me about the latest guy who hit on her.

"He works at my job."

Oh, that's cool.

"He's about 32."

Um...okay.

"He slipped me a note telling me he wanted to get to know me better."

Uhh....

"He said he just got married four days ago."

WTF???

Please, please tell me how rotten a guy you must be, that you hit on your 19 year old co-worker less than a week after you've gotten married?

God, I have no words...

BFF decided to probe Married Man for his motives. I advised her not to because that's just opening a can of worms, but she insisted. So, she texted him and he told her that he thought she was a "sexy young thing" and that he wanted to "see where things could go." Oh yeah, and he wanted to know if she liked back/foot massages, and if he could give her one.

Is it just me, or are guys getting bolder with their inappropriate behavior?

Fat White Chick/Cheater

I met a guy a few days ago that I didn't dare introduce to my blog. He seemed nice but given my recent knowledge of Married Man and his obvious kin to the devil, I was less than enchanted by men. He worked at a restaurant on campus. He was 25 years old (a plus). We talked a while, flirted, laughed. He had a good sense of humor and he was attractive (another plus). He gave me his number and asked me to call him so we could get together sometime (plus, plus). I spotted him on the street a few days later and he gave me the sad "why you no call" face. So, I promised him I would, though I didn't really intend on it.

Last night, I got to thinking about my pattern with guys. I don't ever give the nice ones a chance because I don't feel chemistry with them. I made up my mind to end my pattern and give him a call tonight.

But, before I could, I ran into him today. Funny how I noticed him. I saw him from a distance and thought, what a cute guy. I noticed a fat, ugly white chick holding his hand and thought, why is it that some black guys are so damn determined not to be with black women that they settle for the bottom of the white barrel? A few seconds later and we're face to face. When he realizes who I am, he gives me the "oh shit" face and waves pathetically. I roll my eyes and turn my mp3 player up.

I thought the universe was telling me to call him because he was a "nice guy," but he turned out to be a jerk too. I am now convinced that I attract liars and cradle robbers, and that I can't tell a nice guy from a bad one.

So, now I'm thinking about seeing what the ladies have to offer. Anyone interested? You know how to reach me;-).