Saturday, August 16, 2008

Weekend Link Love: Societal Double Standards

I originally had another idea for this weekend's article, but a comment I just read to my previous post redirected my thoughts.

If you haven't already, peep the post before this one...

All done?

Okay, now why don't you take a look at the comment.

I have a few issues with it. First off, it was kind of inappropriate, and irrelevant, to what the main point of the post, which was my anxiety about returning to such an environment where such negative memories reside. A comment like that seemed a bit insensitive and combative to me.

But my main issue is that it was severely misinformed. Yes, I told my story with a semi-humorous spin but that's what writers do. What I didn't say was, while Ex and I were on this "break", he was openly dating Mrs. Potato Head and was doing everything BUT having sex with her since she was a virgin. But, clearly, they had to already be pretty cozy if he could take her virginity a mere two days after our break up.... "Just friends" my ass.

I failed to mention all this because, as I said before, "if you want to know the gritty details, hit up the archives or the Ex Files".

So, to be told that I did "do him wrong" was a bit off base because the whole story wasn't known (and still isn't). I'm not above admitting when I'm wrong. For example, I was completely wrong for being the other woman. I was a homewrecker. I can admit that. But to be accused of doing him wrong because I did EXACTLY what he did is just plain hypocritical to me. And for the record, a kiss was considered cheating. It turned out he did much more than that with Mrs. Potato Head.

In all actuality, yes, I was wrong. I did "cheat". But did I do him wrong? Hell no. I just did to him what he was doing to me. Two wrongs don't make a right, but the same wrongs aren't gender discriminate. We were both offenders.

This all brings me to my topic of discussion: Double Standards. What makes me absolutely livid is how guys can be cheaters, sluts, or homewreckers, and they can get away with the "he's just a man" excuse. But when a woman does the same things a man does, she becomes a hoe or a bitch.

Enough of my rant. I think it's time I leave you guys and gals with a couple of links.

I did a little research and found an article called Gender, Sexual Experience, and the Double Standard: Evaluations of Female Contreceptive Behavior. It's based on a the results of a study comparing the sexual habits of men and women. The article is a bit lengthy (13 pages) but it's definitely worth a look:

Tradition holds that a sexual double standard exists for women in American society. This double standard prescribes that a woman's sexual behavior be more conservative than a man's (e.g., women must be in love to have intercourse and should have fewer sexual partners than men, Lamanna & Riedmann, 1997). Acknowledgment of the sexual double standard has been demonstrated even in interactions among adolescents.... (click here to continue).

Don't worry fellas, I didn't forget about you all. I understand that double standards are a two way street, and I know there are some nice guys left out there who have to pick up after the messes of the bad guys. For you, I've found a very good article called, The Top 10 Double Standards Men Face:

In the dating world, it is not very difficult to generate controversial topics of conversation, which, if discussed with the opposite sex, often end in disagreements. The behaviors and practices that have become ingrained in dating etiquette often lead to double standards between men and women.

Actions that are acceptable for guys are frowned upon if women act that way, and vice versa. This phenomenon is subject to much study but, for now, let's take a look at some of the most blatant double standards in the ever-complex world of dating...(click here to continue).

Maybe I've blown this a little out of proportion (sorry if I did torrance lol) but this is just a topic that gets under my skin. Double standards suck ass.

Have a fine weekend ladies and gents.

P.S. Tropic Thunder was the shit. Go see it.


Tom_Gurl said...

I'm slightly confused as to how Torrance came to that conclusion after all you said that your ex did to you...but nevertheless, I think you're very right about the double standards's messed up, but I doubt it'll ever change.

Qucifer said...

Ditto... I mean he CHEATED on you NUMEROUS times...and DURING A BREAK
agreed upon break, you SEE other people... BOTH of you, butyou are the bad guy here???

Umm Hmm... a Man would say some such shit yet not a peep about the creep's behavior.... umm hmm, this I've noticed with men, when is them doing the dirt and dogging the women and one night standing it is "chalk it up to game and all this other dumb shit", when is US one night standing it, not calling back not wanting to be in a relationship, etc etc etc stuff that was all good for shit and giggles and "game" etc etc etc is all the sudden labeled "you wrong" "freak" "Why is she doing this to me" "how come she don't want me" "you evil" and blah blah blah, again until the other shoe drops or they are in the receiving end be it themselves, or their "boys" or their gender it aint funny ha-ha no more

Good thing sexual mores, dudes' expectations of me and such tend to rate a "kiss my ass, I don't much care" in my book, cause the reality is that these days, men or my family "agreeing" with me or my actions or my viewpoints don't really rate very very very high in my book at all...

Bloggal said...

You're both right--it'll never change. But it's still messed up. Hypocritical as hell. I guess the only thing you can do is have a "don't give a damn" attitude.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

being unfaithful is wrong, but revenge is as well was my point, the scientist in me just answered the query = i apologize

Eb the Celeb said...

Great reed... both articles were on point...

and I keep forgetting about tropic thunder... definitely gotta do a movie date soon.. i havent been to the movies since SATC

karrie b. said...

men are just morons.



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