Alone I Break?

First off, I'd just like to thank everybody who encouraged me to keep my blog the way it is. I think I needed the reminder that this is my blog, and I can write about anything I want here. So, I'm ousting the idea of creating an entirely new blog. I'm not that good at managing one, let alone two. The most I might do is give this one a makeover. We'll see. Dope Fiend, I might have to take you up on your offer for a new design:).

Anyway, it's finally finally the end of the week. Is it just me, or was this one extra unbearable? I had absolutely no energy or motivation to do anything for some reason. Didn't feel like getting out of bed, doing homework, exercising, going to class, going to work. Didn't even feel like blogging, which is strange, considering I blogged everyday this week. More than anything, I didn't feel like being around people. As soon as classes were done for the day, I retreated to my room and didn't come out until I absolutely had to.

Although this week I was particularly anti-social due to PMS, I'm no stranger to being a loner. I don't know why, but I just don't like being around people. I used to think it was just me liking my "Me Time". But every night is pretty much "Me Time", which is basically time alone. It struck me today that I'm alone pretty much 98% of the time. Not physically alone, but technically. Go to class alone, work alone, do homework alone. You'd think that, by the end of the day, I'd like a little human interaction. But no, it's when I get home that I really want to be alone. Because then, I'm alone alone. Physically alone.

I'm just one of those people who likes being by myself. I don't need a lunch buddy. I don't need anyone to accompany anywhere. I don't like doing things by committee. People look at me weird when I sit at a lunch table by myself, but I look at them weird because they can't bare the thought of eating a meal alone.

I will admit though, that my solitary lifestyle is border lining reclusive. I don't just like being alone. I like being left alone. When someone knocks at my door after 5pm, I wince. "Ugh, who is thaaaat?" It's gotten so bad that sometimes I just don't answer my door because I don't feel like seeing anybody.

I like to see it as, I like to keep to myself. I'm not a hermit; I do know how to go out and have fun when the time is right. But Mon-Fri, I don't like to see anybody but my own reflection. I never considered that to be unhealthy, but maybe it is. Maybe I need to force myself to be more social...