Wednesday, September 10, 2008

What Would You Do?

I think I'm a relationship leper.

Today Mr. Cocky sent me a text saying "I think we shouldn't see each other for the next couple of days."

Damn. What is it about me that makes guys want to take "breaks" all the time?

I tried to contain my dismay (and I think I did a pretty good job) but I can't help but wonder, what the eff? Things were dandy just last night. He and I had gotten over the whole blog incident mere hours after it happened, so that's not it. In fact, we had a good old fashion make out session last night. He had me walking around today looking like a hooch because I had a hicky on my neck that I didn't know was there. (I hate hickies. Guys leaving them reminds me of a dog peeing on a fire hydrant to mark its territory. Ugh.)

He claims the break is because he wants to avoid "another tempting situation". I never got a chance to write about this past weekend. He and I almost did it. We didn't do it, but it came extremely close. It was one of those "did that count?" situations. Anyway, I was really freaked out about it so I told him we needed to slow things waayyyy down. So, now he says he needs space because spending too much time together makes the temptation harder to resist, which I agree with. But I'm just not sure I believe that's the real reason.

I know that I've had a particulary guarded/bitchy/don't-take-no-shit type of attitude towards him. I guess it's because he's clearly used to getting his way, and I wanted to show him things don't come that easily with me. I think that's the real reason why he wants a break. I know I'm probably being nuerotic and overly sensitive right now, because he probably does only want space because I'm too much of a cock tease. But either way, it still sucks to be dissed.

No worries though. It's a Hairflip.



LOL...Get's me everytime.

Sometimes I can't help but ask myself though, what the hell is wrong with me? I'm such an extremist when it comes to relationships. I either act like a total pushover, catering to my guy's every whim to the point of being a doormat. Or I act like an uncompromising hard ass, in attempt not to be walked all over; I either put up with a guys complete bull shit or I leave him at the slightest sign of a flaw. Why can't I ever find a happy medium?

If you were faced a new prospective relationship, but you were trying to protect yourself from being hurt again, how would you handle it?

8 comments:

Camila said...

IT'S A HAIRFLIP. Does wonders to me every single time.

Have you considered asking him if there's a real reason why he "need a break"? Tell him you'd appreciate the honesty...I'm curious, too.

I meant, I get the whole "resist temptation through each medium" but I don't know.

I sniff shadiness.

Camila said...

And by the way, I'm loving your blog. I'm here to stay. Hope you don't mind :)

Nice to meet you Bloggal.

-Camila

Jaded said...

Honestly, probably *just* like you. With the too-close-for-comfort make out sessions and all.

I mean do you want a relationship/relationship or is it just the changing of the seasons lol.

Because if you really want to maybe, perhaps, kinda want to have one them I suppose you could just be like: look I've been burned, IRL I'm not as hard-ass as I'm pretending to be, but I'm keeping my guard up just in case....

Not sure if this would stop him from wanting a break, hell he might just be like "eh, too much trouble"

but you know what I say?

fuck'em all, let 'em die slow.

lol. that's harsh.

Bloggal said...

@ camila: i feel you. i'm genuinely curious of his motives too. i asked him for the truth and he said he needed time to think and he didn't want to be tempted into trying something again. he also said he didn't want to make me feel pressured. that's all well and good, but i think i'm too cynical to buy that 'nice guy' routine. i'll give him a day or two. if i don't hear back, i'll give him the deuces.

and thanks for the blog love! always happy to have new readers. welcome:)

@ jaded: i don't know about telling him i've been burned. not quite ready to put myself out there yet. plus, in my experiences, i've learned that less is more and not to tell too much about past relationships (http://loveisaminefield.blogspot.com/2008/06/shhhh-dont-ask-dont-tell.html).

but if we do end up dating, i'll let him in on a few of my secrets. but for now i'll keep quiet cause like you said, too much emotional baggage can be a bit of a turnoff.

Dope Fiend said...

Me....faced with a new prospective relationship...hmmmmm. lol

I think in my experiences with mediocre relationships that didn't go no where I've been like you, either catering t o my man every whim like an idiot, or acting like a hard ass because I remember how being all cater-to-you got me burned.

I'm a sensitive being, I'm not gonna lie, no matter how hard I seem on the exterior, theres a lot of things that hurt my heart and deflate my ego, with that said it's hard t o find a medium because...when you keep it in...it fucks you over eventually when you go psycho on a dude, and then when you do express yourself, dude has been thrown to the wind and you're left wondering why the hell YOU'RE the one who's feeling hurt.

its a hard situation, all I can tell you is to be smart and follow your heart...the right man will come along eventually.

And rememebr....Happiness is just a hairflip away
LOL

Muze said...

stop blogging my life!!

lolol.

i think that may be the real reason. but he may be leaving something out. who knows.

man this hit home so much though, especially these:

I know that I've had a particularly guarded/bitchy/don't-take-no-shit type of attitude towards him. I guess it's because he's clearly used to getting his way, and I wanted to show him things don't come that easily with me.

..speak it girl. i think this right here is EXACTLY what my deal is right now. lol.

I either act like a total pushover, catering to my guy's every whim to the point of being a doormat. Or I act like an uncompromising hard ass, in attempt not to be walked all over; I either put up with a guys complete bull shit or I leave him at the slightest sign of a flaw. Why can't I ever find a happy medium?

this is SO me. i have been run over so much that i sometimes act like a b*tch towards them just to get one up on them. sigh.

but the happy medium will come. don't worry.

Qucifer said...

Bull-shit, men never "want to resist temptation" or "fear ruining the friendship" Something stinks and it ain't you

in regards to your question, my answer is : BADLY, I can't open enough out because i'm wary or bail at the first signs of bullshit, but this only comes from dealing with evil sort of shit after actually opening myself over a period of time and dealing with some evil-shit-mean-lying-assholic type of behavior

karrie b. said...

yes ma'am. hair flip until that shit doesnt bother you anymore.

he clearly is an ass for jeopardizing a potential relationship with someone as dope as you, but most men are.

-KB

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